


Animal love

by yukitsubute



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M, None - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:32:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9657641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukitsubute/pseuds/yukitsubute
Summary: Jun hates his life, and he hates his job in a zoo as much as the animals hate him. And then there is this always sunny co-worker Aiba, who is loved by each and every animal in this zoo – and for Jun Aiba is just one thing: Annoying!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [](http://je-united.livejournal.com/profile)[je_united](http://je-united.livejournal.com/) exchange

  
Jun sighed when he left the aquarium. It was his second working day there. He stretched his tired limps. He was incredibly tired and exhausted, but he had fun with his work. Just that there was one small, tiny problem: the animals didn’t like him much, and he had no idea why it had been like this. He did his best with the seals, he gave them food, he talked with them, but when he stepped closer, they immediately fled from him, same with the penguins and also with the dolphins.

“Hey, Jun-san.” Jun turned around. His co-worker Aiba Masaki smiled at him, waving his hand. “Are you driving with the bus?” Jun couldn’t imagine why someone could be so happy and chipper all over. He wasn’t a sad character, but most of the time he was deep in his thoughts. Sometimes he walked home and didn’t realize that he went the wrong way.

“Yes, I take the bus today,” Jun said. He waited till the other was next to him. He wasn’t in the mood to chat around with someone, but he didn’t want to be impolite either. He still had his brother’s words in his mind. _Try to find new friends, Jun-chan, you need some new people around you._ What did his brother know? Jun didn’t need some more strange people around him. He had already had enough strange people around him.

“Oh great,” Aiba chirped. “Then we can take the bus together.” He seemed so overly happy about that, and Jun absolutely didn’t understand this. How could someone be happy about driving with the bus with someone he didn’t even know well? This Aiba made Jun a little aggravated. He couldn’t stand all overly happy people. That wasn’t normal.

“Mhm, seems so,” Jun murmured. He didn’t want to sound all overly friendly, because he didn’t care about the other after all, but Aiba didn’t seem to realize that he didn’t want to talk now, because he started talking without taking a breath.

“Do you live around here?” Masaki asked when the bus stopped at the second to last station.

“Yes,” Jun answered. God, please don’t let this Aiba guy live around here.

“It’s such a nice area. I live here with my two dogs and my cat.” Aiba smiled. “I always go for a walk in the small garden right behind the buildings there.” Aiba pointed at the trees on the other side. Oh great, it was the park Jun went jogging. He hoped he wouldn’t meet the other on his daily run there.

“Oh, I need to get out here,” Aiba said. “Have a nice day, Jun-san. We see each other tomorrow.” He waved and got out of the bus. Jun just gave him a silent nod as a goodbye.

He was happy that he was finally alone. Jun enjoyed the silence around him. He didn’t need someone to talk to him all day long, that’s why he chose to work with animals. They at least didn’t try to cheer him up or to ask him some stupid questions.

When Jun got out of the bus he could smell fresh made Takoyaki. His stomach grumbled because of hunger. Just now Jun realized that he hadn’t eaten something till now. He took the food and walked up to his apartment, but instead of walking upstairs, he sat on the small bench where he had a perfect look to the sea.

It was a sunny day and the sea curled into small waves. The wind felt soft on Jun’s cheeks. It made the hot day more pleasurable.

~~~

Jun woke up. He panted heavily, some drops of sweat formed on his forehead. "Damn nightmare," he grumbled and got out of the bed to get himself a glass of water. It was half past three in the morning, and he still had some hours till his next shift would start.

Jun sat on his couch and turned on the TV. He knew it was senseless to get back to bed, he wouldn't sleep at all. His whole body was like on fire, and his mind was running wild. Maybe he'd fall asleep when he'd watch some ridiculous, stupid shows.

He zapped through the programs. "Dolphins are very unique animals," the reporter of one show said. Jun put the remote to the side. Maybe this was something he could use for his work. He still didn't know why the animals hated him that much. He didn't want something bad, nor did he treat them bad. "They are really sensitive, and they recognize what others feel." The reporter turned to the big pool were two dolphins swam happily around. Jun blinked. He knew this pool. It was in the zoo he worked at.  
"We are here together with Aiba Masaki, who agreed to tell us more about these special creatures." The reporter turned to the smiling man. God, how Jun hated this bouncy, happy attitude. He tilted his head. Okay, Aiba had a very pretty smile, but nevertheless he hated it.

"Hello." Aiba waved his hand with a big grin. He enjoyed every bit of his life, and what Jun hated most was the fact that Aiba really seemed to feel like this. There was no faked smile. He was like this, it was the real Aiba Masaki, no farce, no lie. When Jun thought about his own life, about how hard he had to try to get a smile on his face. It was unfair, and he hated himself for this.

"These dolphins are special," Aiba explained. "Of course all animals are special, but they are a little bit more special."

"What makes them special?" The reporter asked.

"They hate me, that's special," Jun grumbled.

Aiba stepped closer to the pool and let his hand sink into the water. One of the dolphins came nearer, poking his long nose against Aiba's hand. "They recognize immediately when someone is sad, in a bad mood or happy. And they react to others."

The reporter nodded. "Do they show this to humans?"

Jun rolled his eyes. "As if dolphins can really feel my emotions. They can't see how bad I feel, no way."

"Sure." Aiba nodded. "If you feel really bad, or an extreme dark aura surrounds you, they tend to push you away with being really bitchy."

Jun sat up and stared at the TV. No, that couldn't be. They couldn't react to his mood, this was just impossible.

"That's really interesting, Aiba-san. It's sad that you can't show this to us, because we both aren't really sad or gloomy persons, right?"

Aiba laughed. "No, we are not. And luckily it hardly happens that they get really bitchy."

"Except when I am around," Jun sighed. Okay, he would test this at work tomorrow. Jun lay back on his couch. He rested his hands behind his head and stretched. Was it really that bad with him already? Did the dolphins really sense that something was wrong with him? Jun snorted. Even snowmen would see that he was gloomy, that was really not a secret. He just wondered that Aiba was so uninfected by his attitude. The man was smiling at him, no matter how harsh Jun acted.

Yesterday Jun had yelled at him, because Aiba accidentally bumped into him. Nothing had happened, but Jun had had the feeling to explode. He cursed and screamed at Aiba, who just excused with a smile. Jun rubbed his face. Gosh, he really was a prick. When did he start being like this? His life had been perfect, till ... No, he didn't want to think about that.

Jun's thoughts were running wild, but soon he had the feeling that everything around him got foggy and slowly he slipped into a dark and restless sleep.

~~~

Jun could already smell the salty water when he stepped out of the bus to get to the zoo. It was a nice area, close to the sea and from his working place at the dolphin pool he could see the ships leaving the haven to disapear behind the horizon. Jun felt groggy. He had slept far too less and his gloomy mood increased because of that fact, and the fact that he had forgotten to buy some coffee and a breakfast. Now he wasn't only tired but also starving.

"Out of the wayyyyy," he heard someone yelling behind him and jumped to the side right in the moment when the bycicle passed him. Jun looked at Aiba, who tried to get down from far too fast thing. Right before Aiba hit the wall of the building, he jumped down and rolled on the floor.

"Ouch," he whined. "That hurt."

Jun stood there and looked at his coworker for one moment, before he got out of his shock and knelt next to Aiba. "What the hell was this? You could have killed me."

Aiba glanced at him. It was the first moment Jun saw something like anger in Aiba's eyes. It was just for one second, but he could see it immediately, because it was totally not Aiba-like. Aiba raised his hand and yelled out. Jun could see some blood trailing down Aiba's arm and his wrist looked far away from healthy. Jun had the feeling to throw up, but he supressed it.

"I think you need a doctor," he said. Jun put out his mobile and dialed the number. He talked with the ambulance and knelt next to Aiba again. "What the hell happened? Why were you so fast?"

Aiba looked at his broken bicycle. "I don't know. I tried to stop, but the breaks suddenly didn't work out. And I came down from the hill there, so I got faster and faster, and I wasn't able to stop."

Aiba moved. He shrieked when he tried moving his arm. He looked down on his legs. "Oh no, I ruined my jean." He fumbled with his other hand on a big hole in his pants. Some blood and dirt were underneath it. "And I bleed." He sighed.

Jun took his bag and pulled out a towel and a bottle of water. He drained the towel and rubbed it carefully over Aiba's bloody knee. "It’s cleaner now."

"You can be really nice," Aiba chuckled. "I didn't imagine that."

Jun gulped. He had once been really caring towards others, but at some day he had stopped it. "I am not always a jerk."

Aiba tilted his head. He grinned at Jun. "Mostly."

Jun sighed. He looked at Aiba's wrist and how he tried to hold his hand still. His knee was still bloody and some drained blood and dirt covered Aiba's elbow. He had always had a soft spot for people in need. He felt just a little break in his jerk-wall. "There is the ambulance," he just said when he saw the big car coming down the street.

Jun stood up and guided the men from the ambulance to Aiba. "The wrist is probably broken. We need to get you to hospital for a check-up."

"But I need to work," Aiba whined. "I need to take care of the Panda bears today."

Jun bit on his lower lip. "I can do this." He would regret this.

"You?" Aiba asked. "You even make the dolphins angry. "No, no, that can't be." He stood up and tried to carry up his rucksack, but let it fall back on the ground immediately. "Ouch."

"Okay, take him along, and I promise, Aiba, I will take care of your animals," Jun promised. He didn't know if it was a good idea, and something in him didn't want to care of bears or any other animal, but Aiba's interview he had seen and his passion in his eyes when it came to the animals, made him warming up. He wanted to help Aiba.

"I'll be back in one hour," Aiba said. He got into the car with worried and sad eyes.

Jun got into the zoo. He looked back at the car disappearing. Aiba really loved his job. Jun envied him for this. He wanted to stand up in the morning, loving the day before it even had begun and go to a job he really liked. He felt something in him twitching.

"Okay," he whispered. "Let's go to the bears."

Jun got to the office to tell them that Aiba would get here later, but for his surprise the lady in the office already knew it. "He called us."

Jun rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, he is afraid that I kill the bears, right?"

The lady smiled at him. "No, he is actually afraid that something might happen to you when you are with the animals."

Jun snorted. "Me?" He felt his belly twitching. Okay, Aiba was right, he wasn't in the best mood. And maybe there was a small truth behind the interview Aiba had given. Maybe that was the reason the animals hated him that much.

"Matsumoto-san," she sighed. "I give you the keys for the bear compound. Please take care of yourself. They don't like gloomy persons at all."

"Okay." Jun glanced at her and took the keys. "He didn't like that everyone seemed to know about his bad mood, even though it was just obvious that he wasn't the sunshine here. "What do I need to know about the bears?"

The lady sat back at her desk. "Nothing special. They like to play, so take care that they don't throw all the leaves you collect out of the basket again."

Okay, that couldn't be a difficult task - at least that's what Jun thought. He placed the basket on the ground and closed the door behind him. On the other side of the compound he could see four small panda babies staring at him. He took the broom and started collecting the leaves.

It was nicer than working with the dolphins, because the bears ignored him. He could do his work without getting disturbed, or wet because the dolphin splashed water on him. Jun put the first pile of leaves and placed it in the basket. He felt a little gloomier than earlier again, because the silent work made him slip into his absent-minded behaviour and his memories got back to his mind.

He winced when he heard something falling. "No, no, no," he yelled out. One of the pandas looked at him innocently. He lay on the ground, on his back, the leaves from the basket all over him. Jun pulled on the bear to get him up, but a second one was already next to him, climbing into the basket.

"No, stop it already," Jun yelled. He tried to get to the second bear, but the first one was already clinging to his foot, holding him back. "God, leave me," Jun grumbled. He felt the anger in him rising and soon he would explode. His ears already started ringing, like always when he was mad, but then he heard someone laughing.

Jun turned to see Aiba standing outside, his arm in a cast. "That show's amazing."

Jun glanced at him. "Stop talking and get in here to help me."

Aiba shrugged. “No. It’s kind of funny watching you.” Aiba raised his hand. “And I am not able to work.”

Jun shrieked when he felt one panda biting into his leg. It wasn’t a deep bite, but nevertheless Jun could feel his teeth on his leg. “Please, Aiba-san.” Jun pulled his leg up and stumbled forward.

He heard Aiba laughing out loud before Aiba opened the door to his compound. He knelt on the ground and the pandas walked up to him, nudging his side. “I think you can take care of the leaves now.” Aiba smiled at him. Damn, how did he manage it that every single animal liked Aiba?

Jun’s belly twitched painfully. “Are you always that sunny?” Jun turned. He didn’t want to ask the other, but he wasn’t able to stay silent. Jun had always been rather introvert, but Aiba made him angry, and at the same time he felt that Aiba’s character broke down his walls. He looked at the other. Aiba stared at him. His eyes were so gentle and they sparkled enormously.

Aiba tilted his head. “What’s your problem Jun? I don’t offend you with my character. If you have a problem with the way I am, than I am sorry for you. Oh, and if you have a problem with me talking with you, like yesterday in the bus, I will stop talking with you. It’s not a problem for me, you know.”

Jun opened his mouth and closed it again. Did Aiba really offend him here? And why had Jun the feeling that the other was right? He sighed. He walked up to Aiba and sat next to him. “Can you make the animals liking me?”

Aiba stared at him. “I think you have to change your attitude, than it would become better, otherwise there is nothing I can do for you.”

Jun nodded. “Oh yes, like you said in the interview last night.”

Aiba smiled at him. He stroked over the bear’s head, who rolled around on the floor happily. “Yes, exactly.”

“Jun, can I ask you something?” Aiba was still looking at him.

Jun felt like throwing up. When did he speak with someone about his own life for the last time? No, when did he speak with anyone for the last time? He wasn’t sure what to say, but Aiba’s smile was gentle and he touched something in Jun’s chest. “Okay,” he said carefully.

“Why are you so gloomy and so cold? You aren’t only closed, but unfriendly and harsh,” Aiba said. “But you know, I think you are … no, you have been a real nice person. But one day something has changed, right?”

Jun bit on his lower lip. Aiba hit the nail on the head, but he couldn’t admit this. He could see Aiba in the corner of his eyes, looking at him, while Aiba was still patting the bear’s head. He waited patiently for Jun’s answer. “I am …” It was much harder to talk about everything than Jun had thought. “Okay, I am really a jerk.” Jun said after he had thought about what he had said to others or how he had reacted to others.

Aiba nodded at him without saying something.

“Oh thank you,” Jun said.

Aiba chuckled. “Just tell me why you are like this.”

No. Impossible. Jun couldn’t talk about that. “I am really difficult, really, really difficult.” It was the only thing Jun could say.

“Okay, so how about smiling for at least one hour per day?” Aiba suggested.

Jun looked at him in disbelieve. He should smile a certain time a day? What a ridiculous suggestion. “And that shall help me?” Jun asked.

Aiba shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you can also talk with someone about your problems? I mean step by step.”

Jun felt something fury slipping between his legs and climbing onto his lap. The bear rolled on his back and grunted contently. “I think I don’t have someone who will listen to me.” He stroked the bear’s belly.

Aiba smiled at him. “See, the bears already like you,” he chuckled. “And about your problem, maybe you can talk with me about it?” Aiba raised his hands. “I know, I know, we don’t know each other, and you aren’t a fan of mine, but I can listen to others. Even though it doesn’t look I am able to listen after all.” Aiba looked down. “Yeah, I know I talk a lot.”

Jun smiled. It was one of the few times he smiled because he felt good. And Aiba’s smile was kind of mesmerizing. “I can try it.” Jun couldn’t believe that he had said this out loud. Did he really want to talk with someone about his fears and nightmares?

Aiba pulled him up. “Hey, how about going to the dolphin pool?” He grinned. “You have a more positive aura today. Maybe they don’t splash water at you now.”

Jun wasn’t sure if this would be a good idea, but in the end he let himself being carried along with Aiba, who still held his hand. Jun could feel the warm skin on his hand, and it felt great, but soon the good feeling turned into fear and he pulled his hand away. Aiba didn’t realize his anxiousness, or he just didn’t want to say something to Jun. They reached the big pool and stepped closer to it.

“Okay,” Aiba said. He sat at the border. “Jun, come here.” He pointed at the place next to him.

Jun did like Aiba said. “And now put your hand in the water.” Jun looked at his hand in the water. It was cold and small waves pushed the water up his arm. He waited till he saw one of the dolphins coming closer. The animal stopped and Jun could feel his nose poking Jun’s hand. It wasn’t aggressive or angry, it was more contrary. He had the feeling that the dolphin wanted to calm him down. It was nice to feel the animal’s skin on his. Somehow it had something calming and relaxing.

“He isn’t afraid of me anymore, and it seems he likes me,” Jun said happily.

“Yes, you have a better mood today. The dolphin recognizes this. You aren’t that angry and in a dark mood right now,” Aiba explained.

“I hate my life,” Jun burst out. He breathed out deeply. He had never said that out loud. Since years he had buried everything in his deepest inside.

Aiba looked at the dolphin and up to Jun. “Animals have a calming attitude. If you feel bad, trust the animals. They are able to make you feel better. But don’t start hating the animals because they can’t bear with your anger.”

Jun nodded. He would really try to make this. The dolphin came up and looked at him. It was like he was smiling at Jun. It felt good, and some more warmth crossed Jun’s body. Maybe it was a first step forward to the right direction for Jun.

~~~

Jun woke up late at night. He looked out of the window. The moon was high on the sky. There was no nightmare hunting him, he just wake up because his mobile vibrated.

Jun smiled when he saw the small picture popping up on his display. It was a dolphin swimming up and down, splashing some water in the air. Have a good night, Aiba-chan was written underneath it.

Jun smiled at that. He typed a message in his phone. I will try to sleep well. Thank you, Aiba-chan. Jun.

Jun looked at the ceiling. He and Aiba changed phone numbers after they had spent two hours at the dolphin pool. Since Aiba hadn't been able to work, he instructed Jun how to clean the pool correctly and how to feed the dolphins without annoying them.

Jun was impressed about Aiba's knowledge and once again he was somehow envious about Aiba's motivation for this job. But Jun had to admit that slowly he got into working there.

Aiba was still awake, so Jun opened his LINE and started writing.

Jun  
Hey Aiba-chan

Aiba-chan  
What?

Jun  
I can't sleep

Aiba-chan  
Oh really? I thought you type in your sleep :D

Jun  
Haha... :P Why are you still awake?

Aiba-chan  
I am out for a walk right now.

Jun  
o_O At that time?

Aiba-chan  
I have a baby at home.

Jun gulped. So Aiba was father? He didn't know that. Something in him clenched. No - there was no chance he was interested in this strange and sunny guy, who managed it to break through his walls in such a short time. Damn ...

Jun  
Boy or girl?

Jun was nervous when he typed the message and sent it. Aiba needed some time till he finally responded.

Aiba-chan  
Damn, he pulled on the leash and ran away. I fell into a puddle and now I am soaked. And my cast is all over dirty.

Jun laughed out loud. That sounded like Aiba. Totally clumsy. He breathed out. So it was a dog Aiba had, and no child. Jun felt relieved.

Jun  
Are you hurt?

Aiba-chan  
No, but dirty and wet. Okay, that sounds strange.

Jun  
Mhm, just a little bit.

Aiba-chan  
I'll go home now, see you tomorrow Jun-pon

Jun  
Wait a moment, no nicknames for me

Aiba-chan  
Okay Jun-pon, good night. :D

Jun  
Brat...

Aiba-chan  
:D :D :P

Jun put the phone aside and turned to look at the mirror. He was smiling and it was an unusual picture to him. He stroked over the wrinkles around his lips. Somehow he liked his smiling self, but his inside still twitched and pulled when he thought about his life. But there was something different from before: A small tiny light that spread in his belly.

He turned back and closed his eyes. It didn't take him long to fall into a peaceful sleep.

~~~

Weeks passed, and Jun started to open up to the other and let him be part of his life, even though he still wasn't able to talk with Aiba about his past life, but Aiba didn't seem to care. They talked about animals, about this and that, about Aiba's life and his pets.

And now Aiba was something like a friend for Jun, he just needed to get used to it, because he didn't trust someone for a long time till now.

"Jun-pon," he heard Aiba calling his name. Jun turned around and saw Aiba entering the bus. He came up to him and sat next to Jun, but he didn't say anything further.

Jun already feared that Aiba was mad with him, because even after passing two stations he haven't said a word. "Hey, Aiba-chan," Jun said after a while.

"Yes?" Aiba turned to him and smiled.

"Are you mad?"

Aiba blinked at him. "Why should I be mad with you?"

Jun sighed. "Because you don't talk with me."

Aiba tilted his head. "You are strange, Jun." He turned to face him. "You made clear that you don't like people talking too much. So I decided to stay silent when I am in bus with you, so you can enjoy the silence."

Jun smacked Aiba's head playfully. "Stupid." He laughed. "That was at the beginning. Now I enjoy your accompany."

Aiba grinned at him. "Really? Cool." He leaned a bit closer to Jun, which made Jun feel nervous. "But you are grumpy in the morning. I can see it in your eyes," he giggled.

Jun felt his cheeks blushing. "Stupid," he grumbled again.

"Oh, Jun-pon, I want to go to this small island with my cousin tomorrow. Do you want to join?" Aiba asked out of the blue.

Jun's belly made some jumps. "Yes, I would love to."

Aiba clapped. "Great, I will make some cookies and sandwiches for us."

Was this something like a date? No, Aiba's cousin was with them, it was just hanging out together. Just a normal day on a boat. Jun shivered. Between all his messy feelings he had forgotten that he never wanted to go on a boat again. He gulped. He didn't want to cancel this trip, but he was afraid. What if something would happen again? His palms got sweaty. What if he couldn't take it? Stay calm, stay calm, Jun said to himself again and again. Everything would be alright.

~~~

Jun had his hands in his pockets when he walked down to the haven. His whole body felt tensed and he hadn't slept much last night. Maybe it was a bad idea to join them on this trip. He could already see Aiba waving at him in his natural happy mood. It made Jun feel a little bit better, but slowly moving boat and the fresh air turned his feeling in something undefined like throwing up mixed with fainting or something like this.

"Hey Jun-pon, this is my cousin Satoshi. He owns this boat," Aiba introduced the other.

"Yo." This Satoshi-guy waved at him.

Jun raised his hand. "Good morning."

"Come, I show you the cabins and the small kitchen. Satoshi will bring us there, and he'll call for us when there is something worth to see. I thought we can cook something together. I prepared some things. Oh, I brought my laptop along, we can listen to some music," Aiba said.

Jun had to smile about this. Again Aiba was talking faster like everyone else he knew, but even if it should make him feel nervous, it calmed Jun down. "Okay," he just answered and followed Aiba downstairs.

Jun walked behind Aiba and his nightmarish feeling came up in him. He breathed in deeply when he followed Aiba. Keep calm, keep calm, he told himself again and again.

He looked back up and saw Satoshi smiling at him. "We are already on the way to the sea."

Jun smiled back. Great, now there was no way to escape. He walked into the small kitchen and leaned against the wall. His breath was fast and he felt like something cord up his throat.

"Are you okay, Jun?" He could feel Aiba's hand on his shoulder, but everything around him was blur.

"Not sure," he pressed out.

The hand on his shoulder was gone, and Jun pressed the eyes together to concentrate on good feelings like he had learned it in his therapy, but he had so often failed with it, and he wasn't sure if it would work out now.

"Here." Jun opened his eyes and looked at Aiba, who smiled at him. "Drink some water, you look pale."

Jun took the glass and sipped on it. The cold liquid ran down his throat and made him feel refreshed. At least a bit.

"Sit down here." Aiba guided him to a small couch on the other side of the room. It was a rather luxurious boat, and Jun was glad about that, because it was at least enough space to walk up and down a bit, otherwise he would have freaked out a little more.

Aiba sat next to him, still scanning him. "Don't you want to know why I am the way I am?" Jun suddenly asked.

Aiba shrugged. "You told me weeks ago you hate you life, and I had the feeling that we have pretty much fun together, so I didn't want to ask, plus I am sure you are a person who bites when someone tries to ask you out, and I didn't want to risk this. I hoped you'd talk about your problems when you are ready to do so."

Jun bit his lower lip. Damn, why did this man made him react like this? He never wanted to like someone again, and his plan was perfect, till this damn Aiba appeared. "Do you want to know it?"

Jun could feel Aiba's hand on his. Jun's skin prickled because of the touch. "If you want to talk about it, I am here to listen, but if you aren't, it's okay for me too."

"Damn, why are you the way you are?" Jun asked.

Aiba looked at him. "What do you mean?"

Jun moved his hand so he could intertwine his hand with Aiba's. "You are special. No one ever made me open up, and you did basically nothing and changed me. I didn't want that to happen, but I can't prevent it."

He felt Aiba's thumb brushing the backside of his hand. "I guess that's a compliment," he chuckled.

Jun rolled his eyes. Even now Aiba was able to lighten up the mood, and he wasn't annoying with doing this. He was sunny and sweet in a very different way Jun had experienced with others till now. "Aiba-chan," Jun started. He took a deep breath. His stomach twitched and turned and his throat got dry like someone wanted to prevent that he talked about his past. "I hate my life because the last years were a total mess and just horrible for me."

He looked down at their hands. It was like some of Aiba's energy floated into Jun's body with this connection. "My last relationship was five years ago," he started.

"I experienced the most horrible time in my life. I don't want to tell you everything in detail, because I think I can't talk about, and in the end I also don't want it. In the end he forced me to a trip on a boat." Jun looked up. "Like this one. And he got angry because I forgot to buy the wine." Jun could feel his heart beat in his throat. His sight got blur and he could feel the teardrops on his cheeks. He was really talking about the worst time in his life. Some weeks ago he couldn't even imagine talking with a guy like Aiba, and now? "He got angry, and ..." Jun stopped here.

"You don't need to say anything further," Aiba said softly. His hand squeezed Jun's and he had placed his other hand on Jun's back, stroking up and down.

"I want," Jun said harsher than he had intended. He wanted to talk, he felt the urge to speak out loud the rest of his mess, like he'd get rid of it when he'd do it.

"Okay," Aiba just whispered.

"He beat me, he took what he wanted, he used me," Jun pressed out.

He looked at Aiba, who had his gaze lowered, some tears in his eyes. Jun pulled one eyebrow up. "You are crying?"

"It's horrible that such things happen, Jun. It makes me sad."

Jun blinked. He had never seen Aiba like this. It was like dark clouds forming around him, and the whole warmth around Jun was gone. He felt uneasy and he didn't want that anymore, so he placed his hands around Aiba's neck and pulled him closer. It was a strange situation, because now Jun had the feeling to cheer Aiba up, and not opposite. "It's okay now.“

Jun could feel Aiba’s hands wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer. “Do you think I am able to make you happy again?” Aiba asked into Jun’s neck.

Jun had his eyes closed. The embrace felt so warm and tender and Jun wanted it to never stop again. “You already changed me, Aiba. I was so gloomy and everything around me was dark. And now? Of course my problems aren’t gone, but you are like sunshine, and that broke the walls around me.” Jun dissolved from Aiba and smiled at him. “Even though you were a pain in the ass at the beginning, because I really hated people.”

Aiba brushed Jun’s cheek. “I will do my best to make you feel better.”

Jun chuckled. “You know, we both sit here, crying and I think your cousin might think we are crazy.”

Aiba laughed out. “Oh, I think Satoshi is already asleep. He always falls asleep when he reaches the point he want to get to.” Aiba leaned closer. “May I?”

Jun felt his heart pounding against his chest. Was he ready for this? “Yes,” he said before he could think much more about his fears.

Aiba smiled at him, before he closed the distance between them and started kissing Jun slowly. Jun had already forgotten how good it felt to have someone next to him, holding him tightly. Jun had missed it.

When they dissolved Aiba smiled at him. “Was this okay?” He looked so insecure and sweet, Jun could only pull him closer again to place some kisses over Aiba’s face.

“You are perfect, Aiba-chan,” Jun said between two kisses. And Jun would do everything to get his life into a perfect one again. This was the first and probably biggest step, and he’d soon make the next steps to get back to a normal life. And maybe even the animals would start loving him more …

 

 


End file.
